Fall

​I was running so fast

Faster than time itself

So life doesn’t pass me by

Didn’t pause for a breath

Never stumbled

Until you

Took my breath away

Time and I both stood still

And I stumbled

And I fell 

Quite badly

Quite madly

In love

Calculations

Is this the best time for love?

So many options

Matrimonial sites and dating apps

Found in shared taste in pottery class

In shared pain at work

And society reluctantly giving up norms

Resigned towards the inevitable

Is this the worst time for love?

So many options

Easy validation sliding into DMs

Lovers on rent

For a night, for a week

Fill the hole in your heart

One face, one tequila shot at a time

Terrifying, isn't it?

There's no time for love

Exhilarating, now

It's the only time for love

For me, it's you

The perfect time for love

Now is all I have

You are all I have

For now

For now

When I'm not writing poetry

Or hyperventilating over Murphy's law

I'm making calculations on a little notepad

A complex quadratic equation

Manipulating x's and the y's

To turn now into forever

The perfect end to love

Isn't a whole number

It's a binomial function,

An eternal curve

You see,

The perfect end to love

Is no end at all

Happiness

Someone tells me what you seek is seeking you.

And I think of happiness, a silvery blue ribbon of wind, trilling inexorably towards me. Writhing against brown conifers and taking detours around lakes. Because that is her way, unpredictable, aimless, distracted, inseparable from the joy of the moment.

She’s taking the long way here, a convoluted path. Soaring with eagles and playing with little boys chasing each other. Pausing to look into a cafe as someone falls in love at first sight. Dancing to the cries of a newborn in a hospital ward. Smelling fresh bread in France and mimicking the northern lights in Canada. Shimmying through the buzz of a night market in Nigeria, mocking a street singer in Nepal.

But undoubtedly, this is where she’s headed. To the one she belongs to. To the one who’s been looking for her ever since she knew thoughts of her own. To the one who waits with a bruised but open heart and eyes feverish with overflowing dreams. To the one with warm arms opened in a half-forgotten embrace.

Hello, dearest.

Adoration

Sit at my feet
Pretend you like the floor
Kiss my toes
Because the nail paint is yellow
Very cute
No other reason
Of course

Chant my name
Pretend it's funny
Remember the number of minutes
I spend with you
The number of nicknames
I keep giving you
Keep it secret, shh

Write down the dates
When we met
When I kissed you first
The first argument
The firsts, the seconds, the last
Password protected
Keep the receipts

Be nonchalant
An even tone
A poker face
Steady breaths
I'm not bored with all that you are
Worship me with all that you have
Never let me know

The Ways of Forever

Come
Hold my hand
Let's walk
With no intention of getting anywhere
No need to wipe your sweaty palms
Or to feed those qualms

What's on your mind?
Let's talk
With no questions
Without the need to sound interesting
Or to make me laugh

Hold my waist
Let's dance
With no music
No need to match my steps
Or to charm

Touch my skin
Let's make love
No need to remember how it feels
I want to wither like a flower
And leave my scent on your soul

Look into my eyes
You can blink, you'll have to
'Cause this will take time

Come
Let's get well versed
In the ways of forever

Afterglow

Burning burning burning
Your cold black eyes
Give me fever
Tossing
And turning turning turning
Your bronze laughter
Taste of fear

Choking choking choking
On stale smoke
And my own desire
Pricking
And poking poking poking
Insecure questions
Needles of fire

I'm sweating
Breathless
In the afterglow of your heat
Vibrating
A mess
My core trembles at where we've been
I'm sweltering
In the heat of your afterglow
The fire of the explosion
Night after night
Again and again

Beating beating beating
My heart bashing against my ribs
It wants you
Gnawing
And eating eating eating
Teeth in my soul
Telling me not to love you

Dancing dancing dancing
Lost in you
Deranged in the dark
Finding
The racing racing racing
Words on paper
Too fast to leave a mark

I'm drowning
Helpless
In the afterglow of your love
Flailing
A ragdoll
Your face fleeting above
I'm dissolving
In the rush of your afterglow
The breaking of the dam
Night after night
Again and again

Wait Vol. 3

I waited
I came
I saw
I lost
You won
You...
You never end
You laugh
You love
You conquer
You...
You never end
You left
I cried
I lost
I wait

Faithless

Go down on me for the highest highs
You tell my favourite kind of lies
They say time flies
Yet it stands still in your black eyes

You've perfected the art
It's almost witchcraft
I almost believe you
When you say I have your heart

I'm falling fast, I don't want to wait
Why refuse the offer of a clean slate
But don't mistake my hunger for faith

I'll have your heart, when you cut it out
And bring it to me on a silver plate

सोचते हैं

पुरानी कहानियां हैं कई
नई कलियों सी उभरती हैं ज़ुबां पर
सुनाएंगे आपको, सोचते हैं
मगर आपकी नज़रें अलग बातें करती हैं, चुप रहतीं ही नहीं

पुराने ख्वाब हैं कई
नए रंगों से खेलते हैं उंगलियों पर
सजा दें आपके बदन पर, सोचते हैं
मगर आपका मिजाज़ बड़ा चंचल है, आप ठहरते ही नहीं

पुराने गीत हैं कई
नए तरानों से गूंजते हैं कानों में
आपके नाम सुनाएंगे किसी महफ़िल में, सोचते हैं
मगर बोल साथ नहीं देते, आपका नाम छोड़ कुछ याद रहता ही नहीं

पुराने ज़ख्म हैं कई
गुलाब के कांटों से रह रह चुभते हैं
आपसे मलहम कराएंगे, सोचते हैं
मगर मुस्कुराते रह जाते हैं, इश्क़ में बाकी एहसास टिकते ही नहीं

पुरानी मोहब्बतें हैं कई
नए चुटकुलों सी हंसाती हैं
आपको हंसाएंगे कभी, सोचते हैं
मगर डूब जाते हैं आपकी आवाज़ में, डूबते को हंसी आती नहीं

Insecure Li'l Shit

You're the cat's whiskers
You're the apple of my eye
You say you love me
At times that's a lie

You're the créme de la créme
You're a dream come true
I keep telling you this
But you're blind to the truth

I'm the correct answer to
All the questions you're consumed by
I'm your salvation
Better to let sleeping dogs lie

I'm sacred treasure
You're scared of losing in the throng
So you challenge all that I am
In hopes I'll stay, just to prove you wrong?

I Don't Want You

Maybe I don't want you

Maybe I don't want those lips
Hovering next to mine
Leaning into hot breath
Into a kiss I don't want

Maybe I don't want those eyes
Roving over my body
Boring through my heart
Piercing straight into my soul

Maybe I don't want that chest
So perfectly chiseled
To paint my lips on
And dig my nails into

Maybe I don't want that voice
Making me your puppet
Telling me things
I'm secretly dying to hear

Maybe I don't want those hands
Gripping my body
Twisting me and turning me
On a rollercoaster ride

Maybe I don't want those hips
Dancing against mine
Sending shocks of electricity
Up and down my spine

Maybe I don't want you
Plunging into my darkness
Shattering my core
Dismantling my world

Maybe I don't want you
Coming like an earthquake
Lifting me up
And leaving like a hurricane

Maybe I don't want any of it
There's only one way to know
Come to me
Let's do this again just to make sure

Play

Going to sleep in my own bed
Warm, secure
With aching thoughts of you
I wake up in the middle of a highway
Cold, bewildered
Looking for your eyes in speeding lights

Will you find me
With a touch
Afterall, it doesn't take much

Stop
Oh, play
Play me
Play with me
Just play
As long as you stay
It's okay
Play
Oh...

Running away from people
Lost, fixed smiles
And the inanity of everyday conversation
I'm talking to you instead
Uncensored narrative
What are the words saying, love?

Will you hear me
Will you take them as such
You don't say much

Stop
Oh, play
Play me
Play with me
Just play
As long as you stay
It's okay
Play
Oh...

More

You say I'm easygoing
That's as it may be
Enjoy it while it lasts
I don't own you, you don't own me

You're on my mind
But my heart's not in it
I'm going to need so much more
Don't unleash the beast if you can't feed it

I know what I want, I know what I said
You're playing with fire, burning dreams that have bled
I do want you, don't make that face
There's more to me than leather and lace

Yes, I want to be the woman in your bed
Only if I'm also the woman in your head

Past Return

What time is it, love?
Is it right past bed
Is it going to be loneliness
Where the sheets have bled

What place is this, love?
Is it right past sense
The tick tock of a broken clock
The air heavy with silence

Who are you, love?
Are you right past love
Seen too much, felt too much
Too much for happiness

What do I do, love?
I'm right past return
I needn't, shouldn't love you
I never seem to learn

Online

Us
We exist in a flurry of hotel rooms
We live on the internet
Flitting through thoughts
Making appearances in conversations with other people

Us
Are we real?
We are more a phenomenon
Than a physical entity
We are a rebellion, against probability

Us
We are rooted in different worlds
Will you show me yours?
I want to give you a place in mine
Come home, love

Come home
To this small studio on the terrace
In this soulless city
It's a safe place for us to love
For us to breathe
For us to be...
Us

Fiction

Questions for idle nights

Have you ever loved a fictional character?

Yes, I have

A character you created

A character I liked

And embellished

Respected, then loved

Then worshipped

Too good to be true

He died a slow, ugly death

And now I have hundreds of pictures in my phone

Of a stranger

Of a man I never really knew

Masturbation

Hanging by a thread
Between slumber and rationality
In a dream... no, a fantasy
All of me, but a finger in reality

Antisocial

I don't have your skin of lies
The protective sheen of a fake smile
The clothing made of clichés
That you would never dare to mean

I'm an open wound
Ugly and real
I'll bleed for you, but I'm not smart enough
To be able to tell if you're worth it

I keep getting prodded
Scratched at and spit on
So I like to stay at home alone
Under the band-aid you call "antisocial"

If You Were

If you were a book
I'd read myself to sleep every night
The first few lines
Would be your eyes
And I'd quote them to everyone I know

If you were a place
I would get lost in you every day
My favourite roads
Would be your scars
Every evening I'd walk that way

If you were a song
I'd hum you when I'm alone
The bridge and chorus
Would be your name
I'd doodle it on everything I own

If you were mine
I'd cherish you like you weren't
My every word
Would be a proposal
I'd fight, and win you every day

Wait (Vol. 1)

A kiss is not enough
Align the stars in velvet sky
And make the wind sing
Just for you and me

Embrace is an underword
Engulf me in your scent
So the world ceases to exist
Beyond your skin

The more I wait
The more I want
To say to you
Do not just kiss me...
Consume me
Leave me broken
Never to be mended