Calculations

Is this the best time for love?

So many options

Matrimonial sites and dating apps

Found in shared taste in pottery class

In shared pain at work

And society reluctantly giving up norms

Resigned towards the inevitable

Is this the worst time for love?

So many options

Easy validation sliding into DMs

Lovers on rent

For a night, for a week

Fill the hole in your heart

One face, one tequila shot at a time

Terrifying, isn't it?

There's no time for love

Exhilarating, now

It's the only time for love

For me, it's you

The perfect time for love

Now is all I have

You are all I have

For now

For now

When I'm not writing poetry

Or hyperventilating over Murphy's law

I'm making calculations on a little notepad

A complex quadratic equation

Manipulating x's and the y's

To turn now into forever

The perfect end to love

Isn't a whole number

It's a binomial function,

An eternal curve

You see,

The perfect end to love

Is no end at all

Happiness

Someone tells me what you seek is seeking you.

And I think of happiness, a silvery blue ribbon of wind, trilling inexorably towards me. Writhing against brown conifers and taking detours around lakes. Because that is her way, unpredictable, aimless, distracted, inseparable from the joy of the moment.

She’s taking the long way here, a convoluted path. Soaring with eagles and playing with little boys chasing each other. Pausing to look into a cafe as someone falls in love at first sight. Dancing to the cries of a newborn in a hospital ward. Smelling fresh bread in France and mimicking the northern lights in Canada. Shimmying through the buzz of a night market in Nigeria, mocking a street singer in Nepal.

But undoubtedly, this is where she’s headed. To the one she belongs to. To the one who’s been looking for her ever since she knew thoughts of her own. To the one who waits with a bruised but open heart and eyes feverish with overflowing dreams. To the one with warm arms opened in a half-forgotten embrace.

Hello, dearest.

Adoration

Sit at my feet
Pretend you like the floor
Kiss my toes
Because the nail paint is yellow
Very cute
No other reason
Of course

Chant my name
Pretend it's funny
Remember the number of minutes
I spend with you
The number of nicknames
I keep giving you
Keep it secret, shh

Write down the dates
When we met
When I kissed you first
The first argument
The firsts, the seconds, the last
Password protected
Keep the receipts

Be nonchalant
An even tone
A poker face
Steady breaths
I'm not bored with all that you are
Worship me with all that you have
Never let me know

The Ways of Forever

Come
Hold my hand
Let's walk
With no intention of getting anywhere
No need to wipe your sweaty palms
Or to feed those qualms

What's on your mind?
Let's talk
With no questions
Without the need to sound interesting
Or to make me laugh

Hold my waist
Let's dance
With no music
No need to match my steps
Or to charm

Touch my skin
Let's make love
No need to remember how it feels
I want to wither like a flower
And leave my scent on your soul

Look into my eyes
You can blink, you'll have to
'Cause this will take time

Come
Let's get well versed
In the ways of forever

Afterglow

Burning burning burning
Your cold black eyes
Give me fever
Tossing
And turning turning turning
Your bronze laughter
Taste of fear

Choking choking choking
On stale smoke
And my own desire
Pricking
And poking poking poking
Insecure questions
Needles of fire

I'm sweating
Breathless
In the afterglow of your heat
Vibrating
A mess
My core trembles at where we've been
I'm sweltering
In the heat of your afterglow
The fire of the explosion
Night after night
Again and again

Beating beating beating
My heart bashing against my ribs
It wants you
Gnawing
And eating eating eating
Teeth in my soul
Telling me not to love you

Dancing dancing dancing
Lost in you
Deranged in the dark
Finding
The racing racing racing
Words on paper
Too fast to leave a mark

I'm drowning
Helpless
In the afterglow of your love
Flailing
A ragdoll
Your face fleeting above
I'm dissolving
In the rush of your afterglow
The breaking of the dam
Night after night
Again and again

Wait Vol. 3

I waited
I came
I saw
I lost
You won
You...
You never end
You laugh
You love
You conquer
You...
You never end
You left
I cried
I lost
I wait

Faithless

Go down on me for the highest highs
You tell my favourite kind of lies
They say time flies
Yet it stands still in your black eyes

You've perfected the art
It's almost witchcraft
I almost believe you
When you say I have your heart

I'm falling fast, I don't want to wait
Why refuse the offer of a clean slate
But don't mistake my hunger for faith

I'll have your heart, when you cut it out
And bring it to me on a silver plate